ACT 1: The nerf football


{After dinner Kelly takes the trash and recycling out to the curb. Trash duty is usually Brandon's job but he's been working late so Kelly hauls it out there. Max the dog, follows Kelly around because lord help us if he isn't right beside someone. As they return to the backyard the following series of events happen}.

KELLY: Oh, you found your nerf football. Wanna play fetch? 

MAX: Obviously lady why do you think I keep jabbing this ball into the side of your leg.  {Max is a dog so naturally he doesn't talk but Kelly starts talking in 'Max's' voice}.

KELLY: Ok, heel. Max heel. Max, why don't you ever listen to me. Max, heel. Ok, sit. Ok, go get it. Max, stop. Max, give it. Max.

{After a few times of playing fetch or really in this case keep away Kelly gets bored and goes inside. A little while later Kelly goes back outside.}

KELLY: Where's your ball? Go get your ball. 

MAX: Crazy lady it's at your feet. 

KELLY: {looks down to deck} Max, you just ripped your ball to shreds. This is why we can't have nice things. You obviously got too excited from being stuck at home with me all day and ruined your ball. 

MAX: I know. I was real excited. Sorry.

KELLY: We need to get out more. 

MAX: Tell me about it. 

End scene. 

{Moral of the story: I am now having entire conversations with my dog or really myself like it's totally normal. It's a good thing I'm getting out of the house to run with a group or go to yoga or I'd need to be sent to the looney bin. And yes I realize my dog probably needs more exercise than the morning and evening walk he goes on but that's not the point of this story}. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com